In Memory

Mary McGrane (Wilkes, 6-21-2012)

Mary McGrane (Wilkes, 6-21-2012)



 
go to bottom 
  Post Comment
    Prior Page
 Page  

04/11/20 06:15 PM #4    

Ralph Klein

Hi Duncan - I didn't know Mary but how fortunate you and she were to have met in HS and carry on such a wonderful relationship. And have such a wonderful family to show for your time together. I'm sure Mary is very happy for spreading her ashes as she requested. Even more so having you as her sole mate through the years.
Take care, and I hope to see you in October. 
Ralph Klein 


04/12/20 11:05 PM #5    

Jean "Frosty" Pengelly (Lay)

Duncan, this is such a lovely tribute to Mary.  I remember Mary, although we weren't close but she was a fun person.  Love the story with your mom!  I'm so sorry to hear of her passing.  Thank you for sharing her life story with us.  


04/27/20 05:06 PM #6    

Anthony Capps

I also want to thank you Duncan for posting this lovely tribute Mary.  Her memory lives on.  It was so nice to hear of your lives together as I remember you both so well.  Mary had this unassuming smile and the kindest heart.  She always found something to laugh about and the room was never dull when she was there.  It was so easy to be her friend.  


07/27/20 07:22 AM #7    

Duncan Wilkes

One of my memories of Mary was when we lived in Green River Wyoming as I was moving up my career path. We had just moved there in the spring of 1986 and we wanted to go tent camping as we did many times in our prior home in NJ. We went up near Jackson Hole and the first night there, this was the end of June, the puddles outside of our tent froze solid. Our next stop after camping was to Casper to buy a camper which we enjoyed greatly in our travels around the west. Moving forward all these years and I still love camping but now in an RV. This summer was to be a 4 month trip out west from my home in S.C. and much of that was going to be for me a memory tour of the many places we enjoyed. Unfortunately Covid caused me to cancel the trip at least for this year. As camping was not Mary's favorite thing to do she did indulge me greatly and I thank her and I am still enjoying the experience and memories. Do remember our son Matt who will turn 42 this week but still struggles with the loss of his mom after 8 years.  He does struggle with PTSD from his time in the Marines and this may contribute to his struggles.


07/28/20 04:17 PM #8    

John Simanton

My deepest condolences, Duncan!  The true bittersweet in losing a beloved spouse is in the memories, and I am glad you have so many great ones of Mary!


07/29/20 11:25 PM #9    

Jean "Frosty" Pengelly (Lay)

Duncan, I'm so sorry your son is having such a hard time with the loss of his mom.  That combined with his PTSD must be so hard.  Sending prayers for all of you.  


07/31/20 12:23 PM #10    

Ruth Shepard (Deitz)

My heart goes out to you and your children,Duncan. I didn't know Mary very well-however, I remember her kind manner and that she was an excellent student. I was unaware Mary became an RN(I was not able to attend any previous reunions,as I moved to Md. 1978). Ever since reading Mary's memorials-your family has been in my thoughts and prayers. I know what it's like working as a nurse, being a wife and Mom. We struggle whether we can call out sick when our own kids are sick at home. We work holidays ,w/e's and nite shifts-especially when we have no seniority at new jobs. We do ALL we can when our own loved ones are sick. I have a sense that your son,Matt was close to Mary. It's so very hard to lose our Mom. Our culture indoctrinates boys and men to "be strong" and not show emotion.After my own son died suddenly in an MVA 1/26/2002-my friend's church began a bereavement group.Somehow-knowing that there was a safe place to share my grief , hear that I was not alone and see healing in others' lives got me thru. My husband and I decided to lead a "GriefShare Group" at our church a few years later. We wanted to encourage others and give them the hope we experienced.(My husband had also experienced his H.S. sweetheart's death from breast cancer.)  GriefShare is a free and non-deminational 13 week bereavement program. If you google www.griefshare.org/find a group and put in your zipcode-groups in your area will come up. Many groups are now being offered online due to Covid19. I was hoping Matt would give this a try. It's critical to be able to share our feelings and talk about how the death of our loved one affects us personaly for healing to occur.--Some people are not comfortable with groups-in this program, you don't have to share- however,hearing hope from others helps our healing../Some people do better finding a counselor or a Pastor to help them talk about their feelings. There's no "perfect way to grieve"-each persons'grief is different just as our thumbprints are unique. Our culture tells us "we get-over it- and time heals all wounds". NOT true. Our grief is the cost of loving someone dear to us.I'm praying for healing and hope for your family. Sincerely,Ruth (Shepard) Deitz 


08/02/20 06:49 AM #11    

Duncan Wilkes

Ruth. Thanks for your kind words and guidance. Matt and I are two different people. When I lost Mary I did attend for 6 months a grief group and also a healing group program for 8 weeks and found it very helpful. Where we are different is that I carry my emotions on my sleeve and share readily. Matt doesn't and will not. He desires to be the strong Marine he was for 12 years to his detriment. When I attended the healing group I was the only male out of 10 people. My current wife Linda also went through the same program a year later at my encouragement and there were no men in the program which was quite common. Matt will not seek out to VA or private counseling at my encouragement. My encouragement to everyone and especially men is to seek out help in order to have a better chance of healing well which was my desire. My church program was a godsend and helped me to thrive and just not survive. You are much appreciated and I am posting this to perhaps help others going through similar issues.


08/03/20 06:19 AM #12    

Wendy Dirks

Ruth, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss as well as to hear about Duncan's son Matt's ongoing issues with grief. My only child died in January at age 43. With the pandemic coming so quickly afterward, it's been a terrible year so far. I think Ben's dad struggled terribly and we approached our grief very differently. I think of Ben every single night when I go to bed. It's always my last thought of the day. I'm also suffering from a terminal illness and I'm saddened to see all the classmates who we've lost already. At the same time, it's lovely to see so many of us hanging in there and doing so well. Sending hugs to you both! 

 

 

 


08/03/20 07:03 PM #13    

Sara "Sally" Haas (Wood)

It always saddens me when another classmate passes. We are still young and should not be leaving so soon.  Mary was one of the nicest people. Duncan, you two were a great couple and am so sorry for your loss.


go to top 
  Post Comment
    Prior Page
 Page